A few days ago, I took a walk down my dirt road in a sleeveless top and shorts—76 degrees, perfect humidity, and just the right breeze. The very next day, I was sitting by the fire, dressed in cozy layers, and watching the rain fall against the gray sky. The high was in the low 40s.

I wasn’t upset about the sudden shift. It didn’t catch me off guard or dampen my anticipation of spring.

Why?

Because this is normal March weather where I live.

For 18 years, I’ve watched the same patterns—warm days hinting at spring, followed by a cold snap. And no matter how many perfect days we get, there’s still a good chance of frost or even a freeze near Good Friday.

Real hope is rooted in truth. It’s knowing that even if cold days come, spring is still on its way. It’s seeing patterns clearly and trusting what is real.

False hope, or “hopium,” is different. It’s wishful thinking that ignores the patterns we’ve seen. It's hoping something will change without real evidence that it will.

We may long for the person we loved—the one we thought we were building dreams with—to wake up, see the harm they’ve caused, and choose to change. We may wish with everything in us that they’d become the partner they promised to be--the one we thought we married.

But the truth is in the patterns. If someone has shown us, over and over, that they are selfish, destructive, or unrepentant, then hoping they’ll change—without real evidence—isn’t hope. It’s hopium.

That initial realization can feel devastating. And it calls for grieving—the grief of losing what we once believed in and hoped for.

So what do we do with that heartache?

It makes sense that your heart would be crushed.

You poured out your love, your trust, your whole self-- for someone who made promises they never truly kept.

Grief is a natural response to betrayal.

And grief includes anger.

You deserved better.
This was not your fault.

This doesn’t mean you have to be okay with what happened.
It doesn’t mean it won't hurt.
It simply means you stop fighting against reality.

The truth—however painful—is the first step toward freedom.

Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Walking in truth may look like:

• Setting boundaries.

• Going low- or no- contact.

• Grieving deeply

• Allowing safe people to witness your pain.

• Working with a trauma-informed coach or counselor.

• Feeling exhausted and needing more rest than usual.

• Choosing separation or divorce.

Each step you take in truth-no matter how small-is a step toward healing.

Trauma happens when we experience harm without an empathetic witness—when our pain is ignored, minimized, or silenced.

Healing begins when we have safe spaces to process, grieve, and reclaim our voice.

You may go through a season of longing…
Of wishing things were different…
Of feeling the weight of injustice.

That season is painful.

But it’s also a sign:
You’re no longer stuck in false hope.

You are walking in truth.
And truth—though hard—is what leads to freedom.

Does this resonate with you? Have you struggled with knowing whether your hope is real-or just ‘hopium’?

You’re not alone. And you don’t have to figure it out on your own.